The Power of Positive Talk by Dr. Abdul Kalam

The Power of Positive Talk by Dr. Abdul Kalam



*** I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.



One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.



My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.



I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.



My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal . You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.



My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.



Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.



Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.



The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.



If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.



My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.



Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.



So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."



If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.



Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.



But: Negates any words that are stated before it.

Try: Presupposes failure.

If: Presupposes that you may not.

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..

Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"



Exercise:

Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.



My Dear friends. Don't get so nervous be positive, confidant, realistic and energetic in your plan and action. You remember you are going to be top among all others and most capable to handle all odds. So you must have patience and trust on you. Don't ask questions on Age, Qualification etc. and Don't get so tense about Revised Pattern of Preliminary. No need to show so much curiosity in this. Just take it easy, leave it to times in his nature and One day it will come. So in this context the advice putted by our popular and peoples president A.P.J Abdul Kalam must work out up to some extent.



Source :



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Path To Paradise

Salaam guys, read on and enjoy.. thanks.

This wonderful story brought tears to my eyes.Thought I share with you all, it may touch your hearts too.


**** Qur'an 3:104: Let there arise amongst you a band of people inviting to all that is good and right, and forbidding the wrong. Suchare the successful ones....**** Qur'an 16:125: Invite to the way of your Lord wisdom and fair exhortation. .. may Almighty ALLAH (SWT) guide all of us to the Right Path and give all of us the courage to accept the Truth in the light of Qur'an and Sunnah and to reject all things which are in contradiction to the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah, Aameen.============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==== Every Friday afternoon, after the congregation service at the mosque the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out "PATH TO PARADISE" and other Islamic literature. This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain. * The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready!'* His dad asked, 'Ready for what' 'Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out.'* Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring rain.'* The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to hell, even though it's raining?'* Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.'* Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go Please'* His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.' 'Thanks, Dad!' And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone- chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered.. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer. Finally, this eleven year old da'wah (Invitation) -expert turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?' With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.' With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!' Well, the following Friday afternoon after congregation (Jam’aat) service (during which period they hold a weekly program) the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures, he asked, 'Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?' Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly voice was heard over the speaker. As the voice went on, a hint of glorious gaiety and contentment was plainly evident in it even though the wasn't to be seen, 'No one in this gathering knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world.. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home.. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away. I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be. Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU!' Then he gave me this booklet, Path To Paradise that I now hold in my hand. You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.' There was not a dry eye in the mosque. And as shouts of TAKBIR..ALLAH AKBAR.. (God is Great) rented the air, even among the ladies, despite themselves. Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated.... He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no jama'at (congregation) has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love and honor for his son... Except for One. This very one... Blessed are your eyes for reading this message. Don't let this message die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people! Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.Please share this wonderful message Spread His Word, help Him and you'll see His hand in everything you do... Qur'an 5:3: This day I've perfected your religion for you, and completed my favor on you, and chose Islam for you as religion.... Qur'an 3:110: You are the best community evolved for mankind; you enjoin the right conduct and forbid indecency, and you believe in God... "Blessed is the person whom Almighty God has made a key for good and a lock for evil." (Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1366)



"Prayer, wisdom, knowledge and faith are the best gifts that I have…"Zohra Moosa (Deaf Poet)

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"Anonymous"

Who You Love Most?

Salaam guys, read on and enjoy. It touches me and hope you too. Pass it on..thanks.


May this story inspire you in any way! I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky. I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away. He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!" He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!" That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened." I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's ___expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province. That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing. " I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you." I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!" Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?" He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?" From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she told me with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window." I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old. After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village, they wouldn't know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here." My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start. One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You ar suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?" With a serious ___expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!" "Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?" Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. >From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her." Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.

Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot. Have a nice day everyone! May this story inspire you in any way! May Your Day be Filled with Everything Good..


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` Live simply.
` Love generously.
` Care deeply.
` Speak kindly.
` Leave the rest to God.


"Anonymous"

GOD LIVES IN THE POST OFFICE..

Salaam, read on guys, get something out of this story. I feel it , and hope you too... thanks.


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GOD LIVES IN THE POST OFFICE

Our 9 year old cat, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my cat? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my cat even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and rings. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her. You will know that she is my cat. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith
________

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith , ' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

________

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven.

Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your cat . Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love, God


"Anonymous"